In Common Light

Does a good deed exist that is purely selfless? Or do all good deeds, in at least some capacity, make us feel good?

 These questions highlight the argument that Friends characters Joey and Phoebe held in one episode (Curtis, 1998). It was after watching this episode and considering the answer to their argument that I found a total perspective shift in how our culture generates a narrative about human nature. 

An Argument About Human Nature- Inherently Good or Bad

I was watching this episode of Friends one evening in college with my friend. At the beginning of the episode, Joey tells the gang that he is going to be the co- host of a PBS telethon – a good deed. To this, Phoebe says, “This isn’t a good deed, you just wanna get on TV. This is totally selfish,” (Curits, 1998). Joey then compares his good deed with Phoebe’s good deed of being her brother’s surrogate and says, “It was a really nice thing, but it made you feel good… so that makes it selfish. There is no unselfish good deed. That’s because all people are selfish,” (Curits, 1998). Then, in order to prove that humans are not inherently selfish, Phoebe set off to look for a selfless good deed. 

As we were watching the episode, my friend proposed a question. “Does it matter?” she said. As in, does it matter if a good deed is selfless or not? The only reason that it seemed to matter to these characters in the episode, and to me watching at the time, is because of what it implies. Through finding a selfless good deed, Phoebe sets off to prove that humans are not, like Joey believes, inherently selfish. This argument seeks to answer: are humans inherently good or are they inherently bad?

A Narrative Based on Capitalism, Not Nature

I believe that we have created a cultural narrative, one reflected in this episode. This narrative is that there exists no selfless good deed, which acts as evidence that humans are inherently selfish. Because, for example, Phoebe felt good in carrying her brother’s babies for 9 months, it was selfish (did she consider the option of receiving that same good feeling without the morning sickness and intense contractions?).

Where did the idea that humans are inherently selfish come from, anyway? This is a complicated debate. Psychological research holds many claims about our nature. We are self motivated, but, cooperation does have an evolutionary benefit. However, capitalism was created upon the idea that we are inherently selfish. It gives punishments, discipline, and suppresses our supposed natural inclination to be greedy. 

Capitalism almost acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy, as sociologist Rutger Bregman describes in his book HumanKind: A hopeful history (2020). When the culture tells us and is created in a way that assumes we are selfish, and does not provide opportunity for us to prove otherwise, we come to believe this as the truth.

So, feeling good after doing a good deed, such as Phoebe’s, is not selfish, but in our evolution. Kin selection theory suggests that Phoebe would be persuaded to pass on her family’s genes (Apicella & Silk, 2019).

Conclusion

All in all, this episode of Friends says something about our cultural understanding of human nature: that we are inherently bad and selfish. What this fails to consider is that the good feelings that we feel from helping are actually rooted in evolution, not selfish pursuit.

References

Apicella, C. L., & Silk, J. B. (2019, June 3). https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1047847720300046?via=ihub. The evolution of human cooperation. https://www.med.upenn.edu/pmi/events/https-www-sciencedirect-com-science-article-abs-pii-s1047847720300046-via-3dihub

Bregman, R. (2020). Humankind: A hopeful history. Little, Brown and Company.

Curtis, M. (Writer), & Jensen, S. (Director). (1998, October 15). The one where Phoebe hates PBS (Season 5, Episode 4) [TV series episode]. In K. S. Bright, M. Kauffman, & D. Crane (Executive Producers), Friends. Warner Bros. Television.