In Common Light

As I was moving through college, I often asked myself, “What career will I have?”. 

 During my first year, I considered nursing. So I took a Chemistry class and attended a Health conference, only to realize that science was not for me. During my second year, I considered being a therapist. So I took an abnormal psychology class, to realize that being a therapist would be too much emotional weight for me to handle. In my third year, I “kept the doors open,” without a career in mind, simply focusing on topics and classes that I liked.

Looking back to this (recent) past time in my life, I am glad that I did not lock myself into one career before exploring. I have come to learn that uncertainty, though scary, is where opportunity lies. This goes for all of life, not just for a career. 

Why Uncertainty Feels so Unsettling

Our brains thrive on certainty, as it signals safety. When we are faced with uncertainty, our amygdala becomes activated and triggers the stress response (American Physiology Society, 2025). 

 Early adulthood is the first time that we truly encounter uncertainty. Up until this point, everything in life is planned for us — we have a typical, predictable pathway, one that every person our age, more or less, follows. We go to school from 8 – 3 pm. We learn the same things (Biology, chemistry, and physics, read the same English novels). We have the same school events (prom, homecoming, football games on Fridays).

This pathway is not only semi-universal; it also is planned for us. Up until this point, we did not have 100% autonomy. Sure, we got to choose which AP class to take, what we wanted for our birthday, and which sport we play in high school (but even in this case, this sport is one that we started at a young age, one that our parents signed us up for).

So, in early adulthood, this muscle of choosing everything for ourselves is new. For the first time, we chose what groceries we buy, what apartment we want to live in, and where to take our car for an oil change.

During this time, we are faced, time and time again, with a choice: to keep that level of certainty provided for us by doing what is expected of us or by doing what everybody else is doing. Or, we can choose to be okay with uncertainty and quest into new territory in search for new skills, opportunities, and passions. 

The Fear of the Unknown and Unhealthy Coping

Embracing uncertainty feels dangerous. One study from 2016 found that “Knowing that there is a small chance of getting a painful electric shock can lead to significantly more stress than knowing that you will definitely be shocked,” (Ucl, 2016). We would rather feel more pain than feel uncertainty. This is because knowing what we are going to face allows us to prepare with resources (which is known as the brain’s secondary appraisal, which does not trigger the body’s stress response, as discussed in my second blog post).

The uncertain can feel like an abyss. In order to fill this empty hole, in order to cope, we obsessively plan, we over think, and we worry. Though it is good to have a plan, we can still be prepared without limiting ourselves. We can take logical steps forward based on actual executive planning that is not run by fear of the unknown.

According to Emma McAdam, a licensed therapist and Youtube creator with over 2 million subscribers, “People who can’t tolerate uncertainty the most are more likely to experience anxiety or depressive disorders.. And not reach their potential in work or school” (McAdam, 2024, 1:52). 

What Resides in the Unknown

Embracing the unknown can lead to new opportunities. For example, if you try new things that are uncertain, and you are not sure how they are going to turn out, you could end up loving it and learning a new skill and something new about yourself in the process. 

Career wise, this means exploring new classes, exploring new interests, volunteering, and learning what we like and dislike. If we don’t know what we truly like, and dislike, how can we be confident that what we chose in the end is true to us and that we will be happy? 

It could simply mean choosing to follow our gut feelings, step by step, even though they also come with feelings of fear.

Yes, pursuing a career in nursing would have been more certain for me. I knew a lot of people doing it, I knew the exact process to apply, and I knew that the job would provide a high, stable salary. However, I may not have reached my full potential with it, since I didn’t even like the subject matter. 

How to Be Okay with the Anxiety of Uncertainty

It would benefit us to learn how to cope with uncertainty because “It is our attempts to avoid uncertainty that usually interfere with our lives,” (McAdam, 2024, 2:09).

To better cope with this anxiety, we first off can acknowledge that life comes with inevitable uncertainty. Death is uncertain — not only in where we go, but when it will happen. Love is uncertain — will the other person feel the same? Joy is uncertain, as in, will this be taken from me? Uncertainty is vulnerable, but it is also in being vulnerable that we best connect with others.

Pulitzer Prize winning poet, Rita Dove, in her commencement address to University of Virginia in 2016 describes the inevitability of uncertainty:

“You cannot wait for revelation to come down upon you in a cloud of gossamer and angelic sighs; more often than not you have to seek it out. Sometimes you don’t know where you’re going, but the only way you’ll find out is if you go.”  

Once we acknowledge that life is uncertain, we then can “strengthen our internal sense of safety,” (McAdam, 2024, 8:35) through our thoughts, such as reminding ourselves that we can get through difficulties and handle obstacles that come our way. 

If I hadn’t handled the uncertainty that came with exactly what career I would be in, I would have ended up pretty unhappy. This applies to many factors in our life, not just career. It applies to friendships and connections, where we are going to live, and more. 

Embracing uncertainty is a muscle that we can strengthen. Rita Dove again says, “If you’re lucky, you will never lose the sensation of terror that precedes discovery nor the delight that follows, and this memory will help you forge ahead into the next bit of uncharted territory.” 

Final Notes

I recognize that some people cannot afford to embrace uncertainty, as they are faced with life constraints that limit their ability to take risks. They may need to secure a high paying job to support their growing family, they may need to take on the family business. That said, the ability to embrace uncertainty is a gift, so I wish for us that have it to use it well. 

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References 

Arcuri, L. (2025, November). The Brain’s response to uncertainty and ambiguity. Default. https://www.physiology.org/publications/news/the-physiologist-magazine/2025/november/the-brain-in-a-chaotic-world?SSO=Y

Final exercises 2016: Dove Speech | Office of major events. University of Virginia. (2016, May). https://majorevents.virginia.edu/finals/archive/dove2016

Therapy in a Nutshell. (2024, May 15). How to Deal with Uncertainty – Without Self-Sabotage. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiXMlJKlFzw

Ucl. (2016, March 29). Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain. UCL News. https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2016/mar/uncertainty-can-cause-more-stress-inevitable-pain