In Common Light

Martin Luther King Jr. in 1967 said, “We must rapidly begin the shift from a ‘thing-oriented’ society to a ‘person-oriented’ society.” And yet here we are with massive wealth inequalities and rampant materialism. 

When we focus more on things, we focus less on people. When we focus more on things, we focus less on the true beauties of life. 

Materialism is Glorified

Growing up, I would often watch What I got for Christmas videos and Target hauls on Youtube, where the person would flash their newest clothes, shoes, makeup, accessories and gadgets. I watched as influencers received packages from brand deals and as they’d show each product with detail. It made me think that this is the best way to live — with endless products and materials. 

This also plays into the idea of luxury and lavish as the ultimate goal. Laying by the poolside on vacation with a smoothie in hand signals that you have “made it” in life.

High-Paying Job vs. Passion Job

I, with friends from college, would often discuss the common dilemma: “Do I chose a career that I actually want, or a career that pays well?” This dilemma comes from our culture’s obsession with materials and with luxury. No other question in life do we ask in this way. Usually, we want to follow what makes us happy. With this approach, we would answer the question with the former choice: the career that we actually want. Of course, we must take finances into consideration — we cannot live without a suitable paycheck. Also, college is an uncertain time, so this dilemma could come from general early adulthood anxiety. But I think that this question is so widespread because what it partly asks is: “Do I want my happiness to come from true happiness or from what I can buy myself?”

Comfort’s Illusion of Good

Products can solve a lot of our practical problems – but they can’t solve emotional and relational problems. Those problems take psychological and behavioral work, not the swipe of a credit card. Materials and excess luxury reduce our ability to solve problems. This in turn decreases our ability to mend emotional and relational problems.

Positively handling small stressors help us cope with larger life stressors — like a family death, a divorce, a mental health diagnosis, social or political turmoil.

Stress inoculation states that moderate stress can increase our ability to cope with larger stressors (Cofone, 2024). If we do not experience initial stressors, we cannot build resilience, and then we cannot positively handle the big stressors that later come our way. Instead of positively coping, we may turn to negative coping, such as alcohol or drug abuse, we may suffer relationship problems, and mental health issues. If you never know struggle, you can never know how to overcome.

Additionally, the part of our brain that is responsible for handling discomfort, called the Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex (aMCC), becomes stronger as it is activated (as with all brain areas). It is handling discomfort over and over that allows us to better cope with life’s larger challenges. We can train our aMCC to respond better to threats and to discomfort. It was found that aMCC strength leads to better health (Touroutoglou, et al, 2021). 

Lastly, the focus on extrinsic goals leads to less fulfillment. One study shows that fulfilling intrinsically motivated goals (such as goals around relationships, personal growth, and volunteering), as opposed to extrinsically motivated ones (such as career, fame, and money), lead to more life satisfaction and fulfillment (Niemiec, et. al, 2009). 

The Gifts of Resilience

When we are allured by materials, we become allured by comfort, and less able to develop resilience.

Resilience gives us more fulfillment. It is so satisfying to look back on a particular challenge in your life that you got through. You build skills, you gain perspective about the meaning of life, and you gain more self-respect. One study found that those who have reported getting through challenges and building resilience also report more life satisfaction, and those who experienced low adversity reported lower life satisfaction (Seery, et al., 2010).

The Spirituality Behind It

Spirituality discusses that expecting the external world to be a certain way is a very difficult task for our brains. If our focus is on the external world – materials – we will never be satisfied, happy, or fulfilled. We will keep running into problems. We will keep filling our cup, but that water does not stay for long; the materials satisfy us at first, but their appeal quickly dwindles.

Additionally, Michael A. Singer says, “The cause of suffering is desire,” (2022, pg. 85). If we expect something from life and don’t get it, then that causes us suffering. If we expect our lives to be easy, then this causes suffering.

Final Notes

Materialism is all around us, so it is painted as an ultimate good. However, it only keeps us unable to handle challenges, unfulfilled, and constantly dealing with minor problems.

For a similar post to this one, see my post “How Our Aversion to Discomfort is Limiting our Growth” here.

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References

Cofone, J. (2024, May 2). Stress inoculation. Joey Cofone. https://www.joeycofone.com/eureka-newsletter/stress-inoculation#:~:text=William%20James%20once%20said%E2%80%A6,concept%20reminiscent%20of%20stress%20inoculation.

King, M. L., Jr. (1967, April 4). Beyond Vietnam: A time to break silence [Speech]. Riverside Church, New York City, NY. https://www.thirteen.org/blog-post/martin-luther-kings-most-controversial-speech-beyond-vietnam/

Niemiec, C., Ryan, R., & Deci, E. (2009, June). The path taken: Consequences of attaining intrinsic and extrinsic aspirations in post-college life. Science Direct. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656608001360?via=ihub

Seery, M., Silver, R. C., & Holman, A. (2010). Apa PsycNet. American Psychological Association. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-21218-001

Singer, M. A. (2022). Living untethered: Beyond the human predicament. New Harbinger Publications. 

Touroutoglou, A., Andreano, J., Dickerson, B. C., & Barrett, L. F. (2020, February). The tenacious brain: How the anterior mid-cingulate contributes to achieving goals. Cortex; a journal devoted to the study of the nervous system and behavior. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7381101/